Sexual Vitality
Because sexuality tends to be a
private matter, it's likely that you've heard less about sexual change than any
other element of aging. Fortunately, the news is good—for most healthy adults,
pleasure and interest don't diminish with age. Most people are sexual
throughout their lives, with or without a partner, and some feel greater sexual
freedom in their later years. On the other hand, some men and women are content
to be sexually inactive.
Around age 50, men and women typically
begin to notice changes in their sexual drive, sexual response, or both. Like
so many other physical changes that evolve over time, these aren't signs that
you are losing your sexuality. Rather, these changes are simply something to
adjust to and discuss openly with your partner and/or health professional.
Normal sexual changes in men
As you age beyond your
50s, you may find that:
- Male sex drive is minimally affected by age
(although health problems, certain medications, or relationship stress can
lower sex drive).
- Erections become less firm and tend to take more
time than when you were younger.
- You may be able to delay
ejaculation for longer than when you were younger.
Normal sexual changes in women
After
menopause,
estrogen and
androgen levels drop, causing physical changes. You
may find that:
- It can take longer to become sexually
excited.
- Your skin may be more sensitive and easily irritated when
caressed.
- Intercourse may be painful because of thinning vaginal
walls (regular sex often helps prevent this from becoming severe). If a
water-based lubricant (such as Astroglide or Replens) isn't enough, talk to
your health professional about vaginal estrogen cream, which reverses thinning
and sensitivity. For more information, see the topic
Menopause and Perimenopause.
- You are less
interested in sex.
If you have noticed sexual changes that don't seem to be
linked to normal aging, talk to your health professional. There are a number of
medications that can cause sexual problems, as well as
health conditions that can cause sexual problems.
Adjusting to age-related sexual changes
With a
little experimentation and patience, you can adjust to sexual changes and
satisfy your sexual and intimacy needs. If you think your sexual interest might
be affected by a medication or health problem, work with your health
professional to correct or treat it. Talk with your partner about any
misgivings you might have so you can handle them together.
With
your partner, take your time to set a relaxed mood and engage in foreplay. Use
a lubricant if vaginal dryness or irritation is a barrier to enjoying sex. If
you drink alcohol, remember that a small amount may relax you and increase your
responsiveness, but too much alcohol is likely to work against you.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
are a risk no matter what age you are. Unless you and your partner have
recently been tested or you are 100% sure that you both have been monogamous
for many years without infection, make sure that you
practice safe sex to prevent STDs.